


you're at the party (you're not alone!)

by paopuleaf



Series: eighth wonder [1]
Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self-Aware
Genre: Cooking, Fluff, Ghost! Gordon Freeman, Ghosts, M/M, Nonbinary Benrey (Half-Life), Possession, Pre-Relationship, Unreliable Narrator, and by that i mean benrey is narrating, but like not in an evil way they r jus vibin together, so there's this he/they, the vibes of playing little big planet and hearing the music through shitty psp speakers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24994480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paopuleaf/pseuds/paopuleaf
Summary: benrey is used to the feeling of gordon co-inhabiting his body, kinda like the feeling of curling up under a weighted blanket with a psp after a Good Cry, but- on their brain, or something. the simile falls apart pretty quick when they poke at it, but all their braincells are just- firing off today. no need to be a fuckin’ poet about it. long story short: somehow it’s becomecomforting. somehow, for somefucking reason, they miss it when gordon leaves.-gordon freeman is a ghost. a very dangerous ghost, yeah. benrey is a dude living in a house with three shitty roommates and a lot of free time on their hands. they get along.
Relationships: Benrey & Gordon Freeman, Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Series: eighth wonder [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1828171
Comments: 13
Kudos: 323





	you're at the party (you're not alone!)

benrey is used to the feeling of gordon co-inhabiting his body, kinda like the feeling of curling up under a weighted blanket with a psp after a Good Cry, but- on their brain, or something. the simile falls apart pretty quick when they poke at it, but all their braincells are just- firing off today. no need to be a fuckin’ poet about it. long story short: somehow it’s become  _ comforting.  _ somehow, for some  _ fucking reason _ , they miss it when gordon leaves.

so while gordon is off doing- whatever the fuck dangerous but really cute kinda actually poltergeists do in their free time, benrey curls up under their weighted blanket with a psp. ticking off two of the comfort boxes, since they aren’t really in the mood to have a breakdown and cry about it. the feelings they already have are bad enough, y’know.

they’re like, at least halfway through their little big planet 3 story mode speedrun (and it’s  _ definitely  _ a speedrun. world record perfect they’re on their way) when gordon shows back up again, phasing into existence over the bed as if that is a perfectly normal and not at all  _ fucked up  _ thing to do to a he/they with sexy and cool anxiety issues. fuck yeah. 

“what the fuck are you doing?”

“bro- bro, can’t you- uh, can’t y’ see ‘m doin’ a cool and epic speedrun?”

“you look depressed and mopey.”

those are some bold fuckin’ words coming from the actual, literal ghost who can’t move on because of some shitty hang-ups that even  _ benrey  _ doesn’t really grasp yet, but  _ whatever.  _ they save and quit the game (and their Very Successful Speedrun. the things they do for gayass ghosts) and uncurl, pushing the weighted blanket off in one shuddering heave. “wanna- wanna come n’ hang out in the beney mind, feetman? get- get some high quality mortality?”

gordon’s form flickers, his eyes wide as if he’s-  _ surprised  _ or something that they would offer. dumbass. benrey could hold up a hand-painted sign in their chickenscratch handwriting that says ‘i’m weirdly attached to this ghost fuck that lives in my house’ and gordon would ask if they had found  _ another ghost  _ and get all- jealous or something. dumb fuck. benrey can barely believe that he got through college, but then again, it isn’t like their brain isn’t swiss cheese and half-functioning. 

“i mean if it’s o-” gordon catches himself - was he about to be  _ nice?  _ did he cut himself off because he  _ was about to be nice?  _ what a dork - before continuing, face schooled into a very unconvincing mask of neutrality about it all. “yeah. would’ve done it anyway.” 

“whatever bro just- just get in here already,” benrey says, and jeez, they sound- a little desperate. lame. “lil’ baby ghost scared of a lil’ possession? scaredy ghos-”

with a huff, gordon twists, and benrey feels that comforting weighted blanket settle over their mind again.  _ niiice.  _ they take comfort in it and completely forget that gordon can now hear all of their thought processes and emotions. (and yeah, it’s mutual, but-)

“you-” gordon laughs with their voice, and it sounds so-  _ different,  _ but they’re used to it by now. (isn’t that wild?) “you were all depressed and mopey because you missed me?” he’s teasing. he’s so obviously teasing, tone colored with amusement in a shitty yellow crayola, but- but there’s this weird undercurrent of-  _ affection fondness agreement  _ that leaves benrey feeling pretty No Thoughts Head Ghost. 

gordon starts to pilot the body while their brain is fuzzy, walking into the kitchen and pulling out all the stuff he needs for an omelette. it might be fucking-  _ midnight,  _ but fuck it! whatever! omelette time. once gordon dropped the hopeless cook act, benrey learned that he’s- actually pretty decent. best at breakfast foods, and relatively okay when it comes to stuff with detailed recipes. 

… maybe they should take him to the grocery store.

“that’d be pretty cool-”

“ _ bro- _ ”

he snickers, cracking an egg into a ceramic bowl. “i’m not the- fuckin’ one who keeps forgetting that they’re on a direct hotline to gordon freeman.”

benrey huffs, taking just enough control of their hand to fuck up gordon’s next egg. petty revenge. (pretty shitty petty revenge though, because the feeling of egg yolk on their skin makes their spine crawl.) “you bastard,” gordon mumbles, fingers already picking out bits of shell from the mix. “you want- do you really fucking want shell omelette. i’ll un-possess you and give you some fuckin’- shell omelette, asshole.”

“noooo don’t give me shell omelette you’re- you’re so sexy aha-”

gordon snorts, adding a splash of milk to the scrambled eggs before drifting across the kitchen to shred some cheese. benrey is content to watch, thoughts jumping around their recent fixations in some kind of weird thought ramble that gordon occasionally hums affirmation at. it’s incredibly validating to have someone  _ listen,  _ even better when he’s making an active effort to- participate? 

(he seems to be able to tell, too, a  _ definitely not soft  _ grin on his face as he cooks.)

by the time gordon turns off the stove, plating the omelette and sprinkling some parsley from the rarely-used and creaky old spice rack onto it, benrey feels like they could doze off. they’re nudged awake by gordon, already sitting at the dining room table. “c’mon, benrey, gotta stay awake long enough to at least taste a  _ bite. _ ”

after a hot minute of processing, the only response benrey’s sleep-addled brain can give is- “bro… your- your cookin’ always tastes good, so like… ‘m already knowing i’m missed out if i get some z’s.” they’re too tired to feel embarrassed, but the yellow-warm  _ surprise happiness fond fond fond  _ is enough to make their cheeks go red. “gayass, ‘m jus’ complimentin’ you.”

gordon coughs out another laugh, the joy infectious as he shakes his head. “you’re fucking insufferable, dude. ‘fellas is it gay to be happy when someone compliments you’ lookin’ ass,” he ribs, mock-annoyed.

“it- it is gay, bro, you’re gay.” 

“and what about it?”

“whuh?” 

“huh?”

benrey groans, taking control so they can pick up the fork and eat before gordon manages to beat them at their own game anymore. stupid feetman with his stupidly good impression of them. 

( _ they remember vividly a conversation during one of the first times, which is- a surprise, considering how good their memory usually ends up being. gordon had just managed to get out of a conversation with coomer without the older man showing even a fucking  _ hint  _ of suspicion. it- scared them, a little bit. how eerily well gordon could play their role, say their lines. _

_ and of course, gordon felt that fear, heard those thoughts echoing in their shared headspace.  _

_ “stop- worrying so much, dude. i wouldn’t do that. i’m an asshole, but i actually like  _ you. _ ” _

_ in typical benrey manner, they completely ignored the implication that maybe gordon would body-snatch someone else, and felt-  _ relieved.  _ gordon likes them. the idea of that made their heart flutter waaaaay too much to dwell on while he was still there. _ )

“this is-” they consider fucking with him - it’s  _ just okay,  _ or  _ not living up to your usual bar, feetman  _ \- but they can still feel the lingering fondness and- and- it isn’t like gordon wouldn’t be able to see right through them, anyway. it’s a flimsy, piecemeal excuse patched together like some kid’s valentine’s day card because benrey just doesn’t wanna admit they might be getting a little soft for gordon. it’s  _ fine. _ “this is really good, go- feetman.”

gordon catches the slip-up but doesn’t call them on it (and god does he want to. benrey can  _ feel  _ the smug radiating off of him.) they finish the omelette, gordon cleans the little bit of dishes he messed up cooking, and benrey collapses onto their bed. 

“want me to go?” 

for the first time, gordon sounds- unsure. he hovers at the metaphorical exit to benrey’s mind, green crayon coloring in the holes he left behind. uncertainty. something else that benrey can’t really place. they don’t want gordon to leave, but they can’t just fucking  _ say that _ , so they just- push the feeling at him and hope he understands. 

(and gordon is overwhelmed with  _ longing affection please don’t leave again  _ and-)

gordon doesn’t leave. they fall asleep to soft, wordless banter, and for once, neither of them wake up screaming.

**Author's Note:**

> tthis is based off me n autumn n watchy's ramblings in the [hlvrai hellhole server](https://discord.gg/feaYrWa) !! it was a lot of fun and basically spurred me to write this at literally three am. also trying a new style ! this one feels comfy like rambling to your friends in the back of a run-down chemistry classroom as you all play dnd together. 
> 
> you can find me on tumblr at @[rylron](https://rylron.tumblr.com) !! tthank you for reading :]


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